Dear friends !
Here is a page dedicated to you, to you who do not realise the difficulties of french language ! You will find the letter I whrite each month to all the faithful of this site, and who listen to my music ! Here are several translations of links where you can surf :
Accueil : Home
La lettre du mois : The letter of the month
Le gag du mois : The joke of the month
La phrase du mois : The sentence of the month
L’artiste du mois : The artist of the month
Dernière minute : Last minute
Biographie : Biography
Discographie : Discography
Photographies : Photographs
Videos : Videos
Presse : Newspapers
Téléchargements : Downloads
Contacts : Contacts
Liens : Links
Good walk, and most importantly, good listening!
Last Minute :
Here’s great news that I associate you all because without you, nothing would have been possible!
I am honored to be invited to the International Exhibition of French poets, to represent the Britanny of France ! The President, Amine Laourou great African poet, has vowed to count myself among his guests, from 1 to 6 March in Cotounou, capital of Benin! I will cross the poets and artists from around the world for this great meeting of the French poetry, from China to Australia, from countries in the Americas and Asia !
I promess that I will tell you all of my African living with such fine company.
The letter of the month
I was fired!
One fine morning last December, I felt there was water in the gas in my house. I looked at my girl, and I saw that his eyes did me longer returns the reflection of God Almighty that I was before. Love is so difficult to understand ! It goes and it comes back, as said the poet Claude François in the 1970s, except that in my case, it’s gone and it is not income! My sweetheart has plunged her eyes into mine, and I felt a cold wind from Siberia, and wham, the thunderbolt hit me:
"I stoped loving you !"
I tried to navigate a few moments in the blizzard finally realized that warming of the planet would never be valid under her roof.
Basically, I understand a little, my girl. She had found God, and he was not even a very small saints in paradise. So I packed all my things, and I realized that a lifetime of a small singer like me could fit in a car!
And then I started to ride without really knowing what I’ll become. I reminded of the phrase Balavoine "My son, my battle":
"If they knew that to you before, all the singers I was the greatest!"
And it consoled me a little bit,because Balavoine had sold many records, and he was fired exactely like me.
And then I arrived to Morlaix, and I ran to the bar of my friend Mary find my buddies. They are cool, my friends! There were even some who could not mind to understand how so sup’gars as I could be fired. Here we Note the small wrinkles at the corners of the eyes of single lying around too late bars, which look for wrinkle we can not imagine that one day they had your heart broken into a thousand pieces.
All this to tell you that if I have one wish for 2010, I want to ask you to be a little sympathetic with the lone wolves who abuse too often drinking Vodka. And if you hear one of them by your windows a little too late the evening, say you simply that you have more luck than him! And you gently fall asleep again without cursing the idiot who could have found another place to scream her pain and vomiting loneliness.
Good! But it’s not all, here I am single! And that’s the good side of the Medal! First, if I do something stupid, there is only me who my own self-shrieks, and as I am forgiving nature, I’m doing pretty well in the case. And then Now I have the right to watch the girls. It is true that before, I did too. But like a schoolboy who is smoking in the toilet. Whereas now, I reinstalled the beautiful smile on my face that every girls love so much, and let’s go ! Adventure is adventure !
But sometimes it fucking evil, life! For the day of the year (and go to the gallery by clicking on "My new look), I thought I was well met a Breton left to whom I could feel better, just to get started year full of mysteries waiting for me. Well, imagine that there were only women married! There were even some who were angry after their guys!
Ah, I tell you, human beings are never satisfied! When he is alone, he screams as a lone wolf, and soon he was trapped, he dreams of a freedom which has no idea of the price it costs!
Trillion soubi at all!
PS: Remember to find the artist of the month, the gag month sentence this month ... Click on "last minute" when a big news awaits you, and some concert dates. There are still links, this month including the love of the bike. And a new photo gallery "My new look, where you will find my new single head! I look as good as that! It must be sponsored by Perrier: it’s crazy!
Barak, Angela, Nicolas and Vladimir at the beach !
There is about fifty years, four children played on a beach of Normandy. On the initiative of an international organization, these children come from completely different skylines, had been chosen to see if they would succeed in overcoming antagonism and prejudices that their parents maintained between them.
Taciturn and not very talkative, little Vladimir come from Moscow laughed however by making a sand castle. Ok, he had got for friend a capitalist’s rottenness, but he was black ! It was the first time that Vladimir saw a child of colour. He wondered how nature could be also cruel to inflict such punishment on a human being.
Come from Paris, little Nicolas sulked in his corner. First, they glued on him a german girl and he hated german people,,and on top of that, she was a true small blood sausage ! What holidays rotted in perspective !
Finally in brief, experience went slowly but surely to desaster !
While the children continued looking between themself askance, little Barak had courage to break silence :
" We can play game of the truth, if you want ? It is funny. And then, this will spend the time.
- Little capitalist liar wants to play ? answered Vladimir with a perfidious smile.
- I, I want, I have to hide nothing, interrupted the little Nicolas.
- Happily, said Angela whith a scoffing air.. Because with your dwarf’s size, you could not hide big thing.
- you, on the contrary, you could hide a tonne of lies behind your kilograms, big blood sausage ! the little French retorted without getting confused.
- They not even began and you already argue ! Perhaps it’s better not to play this game ? Barak stood back carefully.
- But yes ! Let us play ! Vladimir insisted, impatient to fight with all these capitalists.
- Check ! Agreed ! little Nicolas resigned himself. How is that is played ?
- It is very simple, explained little Barak. We ask a question alternately, and everybody must answer question without lying.
- All right ! Begin, you ! Vladimir braved him.
- First, we spit down and we swear : wooden crucifix, Iron Cross, if I lie, I’ll go to Hell !"
The four children raised the right hand, and they spat down by swearing in unison :
" Wooden crucifix, Iron Cross, if I lie, I’ll go to Hell !"
Angela looked at Barak :
" Ok ! What is your first question ?
- A simple question to beginning. What job do you want to do later ?
- I, I would like to be a policeman, Nicolas answered in first.
- So am I ! To work on K.G.B. to fight the capitalists, this would please me well ! approved Vladimir."
Angela hesitated :
" I, I don’t know. If I have some children, I’ll can’t work.
- Why ? There are husbands for blood sausages, in Germany ? interrupted her Nicolas. You cheat ! You must say what you want to do !
- Ok, Ok ! I would be a scientific woman, to invent a vaccine to allow to the dwarfs to become higher ! Is it all right for you ?"
Barak smiled in his corner. He had made a success of what he wanted !
" And you, little black man ? You didn’t said what you would like to do ! Perhaps coalman ? Vladimir attacked him.
- No, answered Barak ignoring the insult. When I shall be a man, I shall be President of the United States !!!"
The eyes of his companions got bigger before beginning turning as balls become crazy. Then, the three other children exploded of laugh before falling on the beach.
" President ! President of the United States ! said Nicolas trying to stop his laugh. Look, Barak, You would already have to manage to rise in the same bus as the whites ! Because to convince the voters, that is going not to be easy down from your banana tree! "
And the children to laugh more and more. Trying to calm himself, Vladimir said :
"Ok ! If you want to be the president of your capitalist country, I also want to become the President of the Russia ! Just to visit you at "The White House". And your servants ? THey will be white ?
- You ? President of the USSR ? answered Barak calmly. But look at yourself ! They would think that you grew in a washbowl ! You are already half neurotic, and you are afraid of the world which encircles you. No ! To be President, it is necessary to be an opened man ! You should not only look your belly button as you !
- So, I, I will be the President of the France, interrupted them the little Nicolas. There is no reason !
- Saw you the size of De Gaulle ? Angela intervened. No, but look at yourself ! A dwarf President of France ! And a naughty boy, with that ! If you, you become President, then, I shall become Chancellor of Germany !
- Ah, ah, ah ! A big blood sausage, chancellor of Germany ! Eh, you forget that you are a woman ? And even not nice, on top of that !
- And Him ? He is black, isn’t he ? answered Angela showing Barak."
Joke began degenerating. Diplomat, Barak raised the hand to speak :
- Very well ! You all want to become Presidents ? Then, we can have a bet ! In forty-five years exactely, we’ll meet ourself on this same beach, on the same date of today ! Day for day ! It doesn’t much matter what we shall have become ! The one who will not be in exactly forty-five years here, will go to burn in Hell. We spit and we swear ! You agree ?
- Ok, little coalman. Only to see the head that you’ll have to have been ruined to borrow money for trip !
- Perhaps, it’s possible ! But I, I’ll just want to see if you’ll become someone rather important to travel out your communist country ghetto !
- I also agree, supports Nicolas. I shall bring scales for cow to weigh the Teutonic female ! I am impatient to see that !
- I also agree, answered Angela. And me, I shall not need a big bag to put in it the small double-decimetre which will serve me for measuring the French dwarf next to me! "
And here we are, my friends ! The strange dream which I have made this month. In fact, Coluche was wrong : they can be small, big, not nice, neurotic and black, and get some succes in life ! And you know what ? This is the perfect optimism ! This optimism, rare commodity today, which they try to forbid us to obtain, on the pretext of being in fashion from our country, and of that I am afraid that they finish to wean from it the children.
One thousand billions kisses !
Plucked by hairs !
Recently, while I so much wanted to work that to throw me in Odet (britanny river) with a stone around the neck, I looked fixedly at my cowboy boots not to have to face the ton of job which waited for me, and my consciousness ruminated the old proverb :
" You should never put back to tomorrow what you can make today !"
Yes, but as I am a very cunning lad, I managed to keep silent my consciousness, with a reasoning unstoppable and with the even bad faith of a French politician who promises to all those who will vote for him that they will be very happy after that, and that their life will change as though they had meet the good genius of the lamp of Aladin ! I borrowed there one of my secret reasonings, which authorized me to don’t work today : in effect, if you remember my January letter, I had made a bright demonstration of the foolishness of our good proverbs. So, even if this letter was not completely honest because it was a joke to make laugh everybody, in complete agreement with this letter, I didn’t have to work today. Cursed proverb, it is not you which will make me work today !
Well ! Then, we don’t work ! But now, what should I do with this free time ? In first, I thougt to play a good poker game on internet. But by determining the poor 0,38 cts which remained on my count poker, and seen that my card (we wonder why) refused obstinately to feed the same count by showing: " Refused Transaction ! Please contact your bank ! ", I decided finaly to jump into my blue-jean, and to go to go around in city to drink a good beer with my friend Mary.(The one who holds a bar, not the other who has far too many job to listen to my silly remarks, seen which there is to many people who ask her full of knack at all times, and that she must wonder if finally it was a good plan to be the mother’s whom you know).
I don’t know if I told you, but near the Mary’s bar, there is a PMU, a bar where you can bet on horse racing, (French State-Controlled Betting System).This bar is holding by my buddy Hubert, a very nice guy who also sells me my cigarettes, because his bar is also a place which sells some tobacco.
I entered therefore in the bar "PMU" of my mate Hubert to make supply of my daily tobacco, and I decided to drink a coffee before going to drink some beer in Mary’s bar. Behind the bar, there is a huge screen of television where you can look at the horse racing which are televised live. I love the horse-races! So, I looked at the race which was going to leave, and I saw a magnificent horse. Immediately, I’m fallen in love of his beauty. And moreover, he had the number 9, my number idol ! It was necessarily a sign ! This horse had not crossed my road accidentally, and the quotation which was shown on the screen, 2,9 for 1, proved that number of punters had also fallen under the charm of this chestnut trotter.
I thus searched in my pockets to take out of it all my fortune, that was around thirty euro. And now, what could I do ? Seen the quotation of my new pal nag unless 3 for1, I couldn’t bet him placed. O.K ! I bet only winner ! And now, how much money ? After a few seconds thinking, I decided that 10 euro should be a good investment. I shall have 29 euro after the race, that is 19 of gain. Not bad ! Sold for 10 euro !
I thus took off to the machine which bets registered, and I waited behind a punter who registered one half-ton of tickets. I threw back an eye on the huge screen, and as accidentally the camera made a close-up on my horse! It could be only the confirmation of the premonitory sign which I had had ! This trotter was going to win the race meeting no resistance ! I exulted in my mind. My instinct could not deceive me !
"Stéphane ? What do you want to bet ?"
The voice of Hubert behind its machine returned me to the business. O.K. ! 10 euro on the 9 winner ! 10 euro ? Really my poor Stéphane, you play like a poor little chicken ! After all, why to deprive me of some easy money to take ? It was stupid !
"30 euro on the 9 winner !"
Hubert registered my bet, and I gave to him all my money.
Planted in front of the huge screen, I looked at the seconds which displayed before the imminent departure of the race. It is only from this moment that my heart began beating a little more hardly in my breast, and that my brain reminded me that it was the end of the month, and that 30 euro which I had just bet were all the money that I disposed to finish the week, and that we were only Wednesday. and... the race started !
What a show my friends ! What an astonishing demonstration of my horse. He was easy in the head of the race ! His driver did not need to command him. UNBEATABLE !
And here is ! 3 by 30 = 90 ! 60 euro gained in 2 minutes ! Isn’t it beautiful, the life of the idler ?
150 metres, and the post of arrival ! I contemplated my beautiful trotter triumphing in the rain which fell, and it is at this moment that my brain was exploded ! I closed my eyes three or four seconds before reopening them. No, I had not had nightmares ! My horse crossed well in the first position the post of arrival, but... IN GALLOP !
Disqualified ! Disqualified horse, ruined Stéphane ! The hut of the dog had just fallen on my head! (Or boxing of the horse, if you prefer).
I stayed there, stunned in front of the huge screen. A reporter approached the cart pulled by cursed trotter, tightening a microphone towards the driver so that he answers his question :
" What happened ? You had won the race before this incomprehensible fault!
- Yes, it is terrible ! The horse was magnificent ! And then, in the straight line, we arrived on a puddle. He saw his reflection in the puddle. He was afraid, and he put himself in gallop. It is too stupid! "
Outside, it rained. I was on the sidewalk with 20 cts of euro there that he remained me in pockets, smoking and ruminating my hate against poor fate. I thought to this cursed proverbs that I had derided in my letter of January. One of them had just avenged them ! Then, I entered the bar of my friend Mary, and after I gave to her a kiss, the shame glued on my cowboy boots, I simply said to her :
" Mary, could you accept that I will pay you next week ?"
PS: there is full of novelties this month on the site. Of odd animals in the link "photographs", new links, and of course, the last news in " Last minute ".
Do not miss to discover the artist of the month in rubric : ... (oups!) ... " The artist of the month ". This month : SERGE CABON !
Vivaldi murdered !
On February 2nd of this year, it snowed in Brittany ! But not some small snow which makes some muck a half an hour later, and which sticks under your shoes so that it makes you tell off everywhere afterwards where you enter ! No, madam ! Some true snow very sticky, as tasty as our Breton butter, who is called so because it is made in Brittany, and because otherwise he would have been called Corsican Butter or Auvergne butter, or... But ... Stop !
If you want, you can surf on the link "the joke of the month", and you will see the proof of what I say to you !
Me, I came back by car from Morbihan to join my good Morlaix, and then I meet right in the middle of a small snowstorm, right in the center of our nice mountains of the Mounts of Arrée, altitude 385 metres ! And everything was white ! Trees, roofs of houses, fields ! To make turn pale a Swiss with jealousy ! It was nice ! But, nice !!!
Check, agreed, everybody ran in 20km at the hour ! But me, I was not nervous about my average per hour. I was amazed like a child ! Except that my aeration had broken down for three days, and except that I began freezing knees. But, even if my feet began going numb slowly, seen that we ran in 20km at the hour and that I did not need to move faster, everything was all right for me !
And then, I ended up arriving at Morlaix. Of course, I rushed to see my friend Mary, who holds a bar and about whom I have already spoken to you in my letter of December, 2008. I was happy to have arrived, and all my buddies were really happy also to see me, because I was in Morbihan for three weeks, and we had not seen each other since all this time.
Mary also was happy to see me. Then, I told them my crossing of internal Brittany under snow. And there, contrary to my opinion on the beauty of this snow which had burst me the heart of nostalgia, all people in the bar starts to grumble, to curse against this cursed white powder which prevented in each from making what he wanted ! A true general clamour ! Even my buddies unemployed persons, they grumbled ! And then my buddies who love very much to drink, and who wondered if tomorrow they could come to Mary’s bar !
In brief, I was very alone to think that it was nice snow ! But, it is like that in Brittany. If you want to paralyse a Breton, send him some snow ! Wind, tempests, storms, Breton is laughing with all this ! But, the snow ! Then there, no, no, no !!!
However, some snow in February, even in Brittany, it is in the logic of seasons. At least, the winter is respected. Because, I don’t know if you noted, ,but since a few years, they are really strange, the seasons ! Particulary in Brittany ! For two years we did not have summer. Even September was rotted ! And extraordinary, in the middle of November, we would have been able to think that we were in May !
Then, I started to think to these strange phenomena, and because scientists do not agree among themselves, I have thought to an assumption. In fact, I think that God who was in charge of seasons always, has been tired to listen to us to criticize his work, and the order he had given in the seasons :
"It makes too warm ! It makes too cold ! When this damned rain will stop ? The sun, the snow, we can’t move any more ! Cursed wind ! Cursed drought !... "
Yeah, I understand him a little, God ! He had to say himself :
" Since this is the way, I let the seasons manage alone ! I am not paid to make me all the time berate! "
And here is how we ended up sabotaging one of the most beautiful symphonies of all time : "The Four Seasons" by Vivaldi. Now there is a symphony in the shit ! No movement is on its right place ! Nothing wants to say anything ! Put oboe of the spring in the garbage can ! Play brass instruments to accompany the tornados of June ! Violins, cry the greyness of the summer ! Tymbales, lash the storms of the autumn, and the horn, sounds the mort of this cacophony !
Poor Vivaldi ! Defeated by general moroseness !
But finally, now that we sowed the shit in the seasons, we can’t be slaughtered when the seasons become reasonable and when it’s faling some snow in winter ! Go ! Youpie ! A great snowball fight !
I hope that this month of february will keep peace and harmony in your home !
One thousand billion kisses everybody !
PS : don’t miss to discover the artist of the month in the heading ... (oops !)... "The Artist of the Month". This month, the fire of rock and the soul music of Zogo !
PS re : listen to me in an interview on "Radio Rivages" by clicking on the "last minute" or the "Videos"!
Re-re PS : take the time, I conjure you, to read the following letter exceptional ! It concerns the citizens that you are, with or without politic label ! Thank you in advance ! And pleases to someone of you to make it circulate !
The letter exceptional
Last year, I had seen a thing tremendously moving on the TV. Our good President, the one that everybody criticizes, (we wonder why, he makes what he can and then it is the crisis), well, our good President had left in the East, there were lots of workers who muttered and who were not satisfied, but then, not satisfied with the whole! They said all that the bosses were going to dismiss them, and that it was not normal that they put them in the door as that. The workers who were angry, they were metallurgists. It is hard the metal industry ! You work in the heat, and you make big iron tricks. Besides, me I did not understand too much why the new bosses who had just acquired the box wanted to dismiss the workers. It’s as if you bought a bus and that you transferred the driver ! I did not see too much the interest, until I listen to a man in suit which had a funny accent, to explain that he had to stop losing money, and it had to be necessary to relocate the company ! But, there also, I had difficulty in understanding : why to acquire a company in the east of France, to take it somewhere else, and moreover, without its workers ? Especially that when the new bosses had to buy the company, they had to swear that everybody would continue to work inside, and that it was not question for them to break a so beautiful working harmony. Then, after so many promises, I found effectively that it was hard for the workers to be thanked like that, even if the bosses said that they will give money to each one who would leave quietly and now.
But, the workers did not want money ! What they wanted, it was to keep their work!
It was when even tremendously beautiful, even if I did not understand everything. For example, I did not understand why the bosses wanted to part from so good workers ? And more tremendously qualified ! There was one, he had been 24 years since he worked in the company ! Other one, seventeen ! And height of the other same to them, but who didn’t spoke on the TV.
It was February 4th, 2008 ! The workers also, they remember themselves of this date ! Because it is this day when I saw as them the most wonderful thing that I saw in politics : our President, the truth, that of the Republic, he came from his Palace of Elysee personally to see the workers, he typed in front of everybody on the fingers of the bosses, and he said to the workers in front of all France on the TV :
" I prefer that the State puts some money to bail out a so beautiful company as yours, rather than to spend some money to pay unemployed persons or persons who takes early retirement ! I swear to you that there will be no redundancy in this company as long as I shall be President, and I personally guarantee it ! "
And after this magnificent speech which had moved me profoundly, the President of the French Republic went to shake hands of all the workers ! We could read on the face of these men, a profound turnover, and a reality thanking for what the Head of State had just made for them ! Even if we guessed that number of them had not voted for him, they stayed quite as me in front of my post, fooled in front of such a gesture to save their company and their jobs ! It was beautiful ! A great emotional instant !
On February 4th, 2009, on one year later, I believe that I made one of the bigest mistakes of my life : I lit my television set !!!
Why ? But why have I needed to look at the information this evening ? I look at them only so rarely at the TV ? Mystery, coincidence, or unconscious call urging my instinct to look at " Soir3 "? I shall doubtless know it never.
February 4th, 2009, thus, exactly one year after what I had seen on the television, to the day, as an anniversary of the promises of our good President, I considered horrified in front of my post, the bosses of the same company which our President had sworn to protect, to announce the redundancy of 525 workers, is half of those even to whom our President of the Republic had squeezed the hand one year earlier, and to whom he had sworn to protect them !!!!
Here is ! A story which had been so beautiful ! Me, the rocker who always swore that never I shall take advantage of my artist’s position to try to make some politics, me which wrote :
" The rebel keeps silence, the rebellious hides ", (word of the tune "Entre" in the album " Aux frontières du sud").
Well, today, the end of this letter will not be optimistic as I always meant to make it. I am sorry about it, my friends. So saddened...
So saddened, that exceptionally, the rebel who had decided that he never would howl with the wolfes, howls today the most powerfully possible :
"IT ! IT IS DISGUSTING ! "